so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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