Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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