I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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