absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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