You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I cockslap morals
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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