Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
