At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
