____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I pour the whiskey from now on
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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