I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
