Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
