he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
