Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
