STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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