please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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