My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The beer is more important than you right now.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
