So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
