drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
