but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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