that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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