at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
