this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
