when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
