my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
