you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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