Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
