Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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