You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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