I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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