I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
