i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
