Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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