Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize