I need help removing her.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize