I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
