I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How does it feel to date your dad?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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