I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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