problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
love makes seman taste better
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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