That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
