im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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