Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
