I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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