Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
