in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
