Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize