Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I need to sanitize my soul.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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