Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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