That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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