I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
