I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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