I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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