2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
