my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Randomize
