went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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