No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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