i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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