so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize