i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I know her cup size but not her name....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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