Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
