youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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