The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
