May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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