I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize