In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
